Since the breakup, I’ve been feeling different. I spent a few days very sad about the whole thing, but I quickly realized that it was the best thing for me right now, even if it wasn’t pleasant. I had become complacent with myself and my life and now I see this as a wonderful opportunity for positive change.
Not to say I haven’t been a happy person; I love a lot of aspects of my life – I have great friends and family, a job working with a number of people who make me laugh and learn on a daily basis, and a nice comfortable place to call home. It’s more than many people can say they have right now and I know I’m blessed and therefore have a deep appreciation for what I’ve got.
Many people would tackle one thing at a time, but I’m confident I can put my energy into a fresh approach towards a few key aspects of my life, starting with my health and budget.
As I mentioned before, I am intent on losing at least 8 pounds before Halloween. The overall goal is to be healthier when I turn 30 than I was at 20, but one has to start somewhere. I picked up the shorts for my costume yesterday and I think even if I lose 5 pounds I’ll be in fine enough shape to pull it off without any embarrassment or being too self-conscious. That aside, people who lose weight successfully and keep it off know that changing your lifestyle is imperative to staying in shape. Thankfully, I have ample time to jog a few miles at least 3 days a week and the benefits to my body and my mental well-being are immediately obvious when I stick to it. But that’s not enough – I need more (and my knee pain agrees).
When I trained for the Half Marathon, the training schedule had cross-training built in, which unfortunately the Couch to 5K program does not, and the difference has been obvious. I *need* the stretching that Yoga provides and the core strength that Pilates builds. At this point I can barely afford to take actual classes, so that’s where another change in my life comes in: I need to better manage my budget.
I guess that may not be the right way to say it – I need to use my expendable income in a more useful manner. I’ve been blowing too much on yummy and horrible food from the deli next door to my work or fast food when I am being lazy and not only is it not helping my waistline, it’s a total waste of money. So I signed up for Mint.com (B was the one who told me about the site, but I had no clue how it would be useful to me since I already have the budget for my bills/rent/necessities laid out months in advance) and I can track and restrict how much I allow myself to spend on certain unnecessary things like fast food/restaurants/cigarettes. That way I can spend my money on things that enhance my life, like EXPERIENCES. Why did it take so freakin’ long to figure this out? *shakes head* It all ties back into my aspirations for improved health, since I typically eat better when I cook for myself.
And that brings me to “Me,” I imagine. I’ve been feeling different. Inspired. Focused. A deep desire for improvement on my own. Alone. I know from my past that I can’t do the things I need to do for myself if I am worried about dating/men, etc. My home is cleaner, my motivation is higher, my relationships with people who mean the most to me are more satisfying when I am single, and I am loving it far too much to consider giving it up for anyone else. I don’t necessarily feel “new,” but I most assuredly feel “improved” and I am going to hold on tightly to everything that has recently been propelling me towards being a more exceptional human being.